Thursday, September 30, 2010

Pretty much useless drivel

I absolutely know for a fact, that I'm never going to be this prolific in writing my blog ever again. Just today it seems new and special. Plus, none of my Facebook friends give a crap. I don't really care if any of you do either. Just this is the place for me to endlessly write about nothing so here it is.
My computer almost died. I don't know why, but it did. It wouldn't turn on or anything. I realized how much this 90's piece of crap means to me. It's my only escape... my only friend. Where else would I play Bookworm for an unhealthy amount of time?
My house is a mess. I swear I cleaned it only yesterday, and now it's a sty again. I'm not just talking toys across the floor... thats a given. I'm saying I need to mop and vacuum and dust the crappy corners out again and wipe down the walls. It never ends.
I'm not doing anything though. I'm not feeling good, and fortunately, my kids are giving me a break and happily and quietly playing in the mess.
Okay, spoke too soon, but still they're being pretty good.
I'm feeling crummy, like I'm coming down with something. And then, because I'm not feeling good, I'm not going outside to smoke, so I've smoked too much today (note: I'm fully aware I shouldn't be smoking, so spare the PSA comments)
So crummy crummy crummy.... messy messy messy. And then I'm spending an absolutely indulgent amount of time on the computer.
Everyone deserves a break, right? Even moms?
If the kids are fed and changed and not doing anything destructive or dangerous... I'm still doing right, right?


Has anyone else just sat for a half hour and watched their computer defrag? I've never thought such a thing could be so relaxing.
Can I plug Multigrain Cherrios? Do I need to pay them a royalty for mentioning them here? They're awesome, I love them. They make a good snack for the kids too... I find a very small percentage of them in the carpet. Which means they are either eating them or hiding them really well.

So all I've eaten today is a handful of dry Multigrain cherrios, three corn tortillas and a can of Starbucks doubleshot energy drink in the tall can. I should eat something, but I don't have the motivation to get up and MAKE something. Please tell me I'm not alone in this.

Okay, that's enough inflicting just random BS on ya'll. I'm going back to playing Bookworm.

Quiet= Terror

They're up to something. I just know it.
But every time I go out there to check, they are quietly watching Blue's Clues, and simply ask for more oatmeal bars, or bananas or sippy cups. I keep running out in a panic every 5 minutes, expecting, maybe even hoping to catch them up to their usual antics... and nothing. It's strange, and terrifying.
Don't get me wrong, there has been a little bit of yelling and pushing this morning. But just a little.
Tim, (my husband) found a Disney's Cars toy bench this morning, in perfect condition. That's the only difference in the house today. They aren't really even playing with it, but maybe it's dusted with xanax or something. I have no other explaination.
Look, I just checked RIGHT NOW, and they are sitting quietly in front of the TV.
All sorts of things are going through my mind. Are they coming down with something? Have they been adversely affected by the lovers quarrel Tim and I had yesterday? Are they planning a terrorist attack? I've long thought that they have nuclear capabilities, how else could the living room be clean one moment, and look like Hurricane Katrina hit it the next?
I've got to check again.

Nope. Nothing.
I fed them breakfast, they aren't weak from hunger. They get spazzy when they are hungry anyways. I always know when they want food or a nap because that's when I mostly feel like crying.
So here I am... I actually have the ability to write on this blog without interruption.
That is if I could stop running out there like a maniac every paragraph, expecting to find destruction.


If all the other kids were jumping off a bridge....

...I guess I would too.
Here I am with my first blog. Jumping on the blog-wagon and off that proverbial bridge.
Like anyone in the universe wants details of how my day goes with these savages I call my kids... but I guess I could be surprised. I mean, plenty of moms have mommy blogs and thousands of followers. I don't know if i want thousands, but it would be nice if more than 4 people followed me on Twitter.

Let me start with an intro, I am the 30 year old mother of a 3 year old, Tyler, and an 18month old, Kendyl.
I'm married to a man I've loved for 8 years and coveted for at least 2 years prior to that. Neither of us are perfect people or perfect parents, (although he's doing better than me, I think) which might lend to an interesting blog.
I seriously think both of us may be a bit insane, which is the only explanation to why both of my children are absolutely insane. I've learned to be terrified of quiet, especially when I'm in the bathroom, because I will undoubtably come out to babies eating the bills recently removed from the filing cabinet, or somebody standing on the kitchen counter... because baby gates are obviously just a suggestion, not a rule to these two.

I love my kids, I'm crazy about them.

Tyler is super smart, like "Little Man Tate" smart. (Does anyone get the reference?) He just turned 3 in the last month, he can count to 100, he can do simple math, knows his alphabet, shapes, colors and can spell about 10-15 simple words. He's obedient to an extent, but has spirit and sass. His favorite activities include lining his hot wheels up in a line 50 strong, and then pushing the baby down when she tries to touch them... which means that her favorite activity is touching his cars.

Kendyl is my beauty queen. I'm not just saying that she's beautiful, she's an actual child beauty pageant winner. I needed some kind of activity with her, being how the only toys she cares about are the one's her brother is playing with at the time.... and surprise... surprise... she's a stage hog. An attention junkie. Her interests include, new shoes and accesories, make-up, and dancing with the max amount of people watching. God help us all. And, as expected, she's a total drama queen. She was born with it, and i just need to get over it.

My third child, I mean my, is a construction worker. More specifically, he builds pools. The pool business isn't doing well in this economy, but we're not going to get into finances in this blog. At least not this post. Right now he's researching enviromental sciences, specifically recycled materials.
His behavior toward me is about the same as ours toward the children... alternating between scolding and spoiling to death. I don't know if I'm being raised right, but there sure is alot of educational programming involved.

My life is filled with chaos, but I think we're getting adequite nutrition. At least there's that.