Can I Release Them All into the Wild?

Romulus and Remus, founders of Rome. It was said that they were raised by wolves.

Soon, I am going to have more pictures, and yes, video to post. So just keep your panties on.
I know I say this a lot. But I am done this morning... DONE.
I realize that it was I who chose to stay up past 11 to make South Park characters out of all my friends, and that is totally my bad. How was I to know that Kendyl was going to wake up every hour and a half on the dot, needing a bottle? Which means of course, she soaked through her diaper last night, and my mom is still avoiding my request to spend the morning at her house doing laundry.
Last night, being how I convinced him to stay up with me, my husband had one more beer than he probably should have, and when I came back into the computer room, I caught him messaging some random chick on Facebook.
Now let me clear this up. I don't think my husband is having, or trying to have an affair on Facebook. However, I do believe he was sending a compliment to a woman via personal message. He's really not computer saavy enough to know the personal nature of a private message. A response to a post, saying "You're pretty" says simply that, a compliment. A personal message saying, "You're pretty." says a lot more, in my opinion. But we're talking about someone whose posts look like they were written by a 3rd grader, and who had an argument with me the other day about whether there were supposed to be spaces after commas and periods. Whatever. The message reads, "God, your hhairy, like my hommie, ellen." give or take a few oddly placed commas.
I came in and looked over his shoulder at "God, your h...." said, "Hmmm..." and then walked into the bathroom. In my mind the double "H" means he was going to write, "God, your hot." and when he got walked in on, decided to change it... hence the stuttered "H"
Out of the realm of possibility? I don't think so.
Am I really super upset? Not really. Only at the excuses. In my dealings with men, I've realized that less is more. During the conversation that followed, I simply said things like, "Okay..." and "Uh-huh" and let him dig his own hole. Men are just like children, even if they are smart, you can easily outsmart them by just being vague and making them think you're being mysterious. They expect it, you're a woman. I particularly loved that he then told me that he was responding to someone else's comment on the boards, and didn't know he was sending a private message. Uh-huh. For anyone who has Facebook, you know the process of sending a Personal message is a very deliberate one. And then he told me that the chick was 300lbs, or at least 250lbs. Uh-huh. (see how effective that simple word, "Uh-huh" is?) Then he says he's drunk and tired, and he can't believe I'm drawing him into this conversation this late at night.
I point out that all I've said is "Okay." and "Uh-huh" and he's done all the additional talking. He didn't have anything to say to that.
Like I said, I'm really not afraid that he's having, or fishing for an affair. I think it's inappropriate for a married man to be messaging women on the internet. But this is a stupid move as opposed to a deliberate move. I'm more mad at the excuses and the crappy half-assed lies. If he wasn't a little bit too drunk, he wouldn't have lied to me about it... he would have said, "I thought this girl was pretty, so I complimented her." I would have informed him that it would have been much more appropriate to do it on the open boards... and that would have been that.
By the way, THIS is the chick he messaged.

she doesn't look 300lbs and hairy to me

I'm not as mad as I seem, like I said, he's not really being sneaky, he was being dumb and drunk.
So then, after all this, Kendyl woke up every 90 minutes, wanting a bottle. One of these times, she rejected laying back down, and I thought I was going to be up with her. But thank God, she finally took the bottle and laid down.
So, just so you know I'm not using this post to just bash my husband. He usually wakes up early and takes care of the kids and lets me sleep in. Awesome, right? Well, this morning, he just timed his cigarette badly and went outside JUST as Kendyl was getting up. I laid in bed listening to her call out, waiting for Tim to go get her. I waited... and waited... and waited... and he never came. She at this point was calling pretty loudly. (I'm not going to say crying, because it's more of a yell that comes every 30 seconds or so)
So..... I get up out of bed, after having very little sleep and get her... just in time for Tim to come in the front door with Tyler, and say, "Oh, she's up?" I just shoot him a look. This is not the time for a "Here's Your Sign" joke, I think maybe even Bill Engvall would agree... it's just time for "The LOOK." Which I'm getting pretty good at by the way.
Needless to say, Tim left early for recycling this morning. I think I would too, given The Look I was shooting at everyone this morning.
And if I could get out of my mood, I would see this morning isn't really that bad. There's only limited screaming. (Although mischievousness is stepped up a notch today) Kendyl's cold has dried up, (only crusty boogers there) And they appear to be playing together rather than against each other. Why should I be so grumpy that they INSIST I stand in the living room and watch Blue's Clues with them.
I just feel mean, and it doesn't help that like all bad-mood-days, things keep going wrong. I stub my toe, kick down the baby gate while stepping over it, when I try to gorge myself on junk food (the go-to for feeling better) my chip pieces are all to small to reach the cheese salsa dip. Theres a box in my kitchen that I just KNOW has become a home for cockroaches.
Arg. I need some relief. I need a funny joke, or something.
At least they are letting me veg in front of the computer (kinda)
Maybe the kids just don't want to hang out with me when I'm like this. I know I don't.