Friday, October 1, 2010

Life Necessitates Merlot

First of all, I had to spellcheck necessitates. 
So don't think I'm that cool. (Not that you would)
And now I can't get off of italics, so that should explain how  uncool I really am, despite the fact I drink wine instead of beer.

Behold, the virtues of Merlot; the deep red, burgundy color... the floral bouquet... filled with antioxidants and tannins.
My husband says all that drivel about tannins and antioxidants is just an excuse. I just like to get drunk. To that I reply that I could get drunk off anything, even his nasty beer. But merlot makes me feel GOOD, not drunk. Well okay, maybe drunk TOO. 

Note: Enjoy Merlot after the kids are in bed. If yours are like mine, they require constant vigilance. And of all the things merlot is good for (including putting in spagetti sauce) constant vigilance is not one of them.

Besides, are you really relaxing if the little monsters are still awake?

Anyways, If I was trying to get drunk, I could drink my husband's nasty, skunky beer. It would be cheaper.

My life is difficult. Hard to believe when looking at the condition my house is in. 
Just keeping the kids in check is a full time job in itself. And they're violent! No one told me that kids hurt you! I've been head butted, scratched, pinched and used as a drum. Tyler needs to be constantly told to get his feet off of his sister.
I think this life deserves merlot. 

Can you maybe guess I don't have any? I get maybe two bottles a month, and payday isn't until tomorrow. Oh Discordia!

Potty training, oh, I mean "toilet learning" needs a bottle just for itself. As does the huge pile of laundry. The screaming? Oh yeah.

So make my day, send me a bottle of Red Rock (totally awesome, deep mellow flavor, makes you feel all warm and fuzzy deep down) can you get it here by 7:30pm PST? 8:00 at the latest. My brain will thank you. 


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