Have you ever...?
...fed the kids Cheezits right before a dinner they now wont eat?
... realized those plug covers we buy, fit through a toilet paper tube? (and are therefore choking hazards)
...bought a 6 oz. can of whole wheat cheesy-poofs for $3.79 when a bag of Cheetos costs $1.50?
...felt like EVERYBODY has to be doing a better job at this parenting thing, even the girls who give birth at prom?
... wondered what they're saying?
... spent all day making a princess?
... couldn't get a 3 year olds birthday party to happen, because between parent teacher conferences, family photographs and sales at Gymboree, no one is ever available with their kids all at one time?
... used tiny cars as currency?
... had to give juice from a medicine cup to your non-sick child to reduce jealousy of the sick child?
... wondered if your children share DNA with Godzilla?
... gave the kids a taste of lemon juice to get a funny photo? (My daughter now likes lemon juice, no matter how much she puckers.)
...been force fed a damp cracker?
...wanted to murder Joe from Blue's Clues for the simple fact that now asking my child, "Where is it?" gets the automatic response, "Right there! Behind you!"?
... woken your oldest up to come climb in your bed after your husband has been exiled for snoring too loud? (Hey, he says the couch is easier on his back)
...kept empty wrappers for the checker to scan, because your children have already eaten what came in the package?
...wondered what that smell is?
...kept a dirty diaper to show off the interesting contents when hubby gets home?
... ignored a crashing sound because your elbow deep in dishes and no one is screaming?
...given bacon as a reward?
... had to put on another pot of coffee?
... had to put him in overalls to keep his hands out of his pants?
... been eternally grateful to ER staff for moving you and your toddler through quickly, and not belittling your concerns about your child's health?
...used spit to tame the flyaways?
...given the kids your cell phone as a distraction?
... wanted to be a hermit, alone on a deserted island?
...thought that sitting crowded on the couch, being robbed for your Pringles and watching Sesame Street is the best place to be?
...wished that they would just CALM DOWN??