Friday, November 5, 2010

Hidden Mommy Talents (or why am I so cool?)

Well, this morning I heard spitting going on in front of Sesame Street. Damn this episode where Baby Bear learns to whistle!

So I distracted both of the kids with a hat made out of a baby blanket. Woohoo, maybe not a valuable talent if I were in marketing, but in this vocation, I just made Employee of the Month. It was a perfect hat, turban-like, that held it's shape as it was passed, in awe, from head to head.

Of course it fell apart when they started to fight over it, but that's not the point.
It was also insightful of me to visit the discount part of the freezer section when at the grocery store. The kids are now quietly munching away on Tyson Anytizers chicken fries, which I have dubbed Chicken Sticks.
Now, you may question my method... "Wouldn't the moniker, 'Chicken Fries' have the same effect?" you might ask, stating that it might be easier to just stick with what's on the box.
My answer is no. The use of the word, "fries" in any context at the present causes Tyler to fly into a crazed frenzy devised to produce McDonalds french fries out of thin air.

An empty McDonalds bag in the trash has the same effect.
This child has been to McDonalds a total of 3 times in his life, but what can I say? He knows what he likes.
It was also a pretty good pull to hand the juice to Tyler and the water to Kendyl, knowing he'd switch her cups without tasting first. (I try to give her more juice, she's constipated)
I'm thinking of inventing an opposite microwave, designed to cool down food really fast, from the inside. Not just for kids' food, it will work really good for Hot Pockets.
I'm on such a roll this morning, it might just work. I'll still talk to you guys when I'm a millionare.


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