Wednesday, November 3, 2010

A Post I Regret Posting

This is a Writer's prompt from Mama Kat's Writers Workshop. It came at a opportune time for me, as my husband confronted me about a post I had written, Can I Release Them All Into The Wild?
He tried to be subtle, he left the browser open to that page when he turned the computer over to me, signifying he had read it. It got me thinking, but I ignored the obvious "!!??" and waited for him to say something, which later that day after the kids were in bed, he did.
With his hint, I had been thinking of the post all day and was prepared for the conversation when it happened.
At first I was mad. How dare he censor my blog, or have anything to say about it. And then I got to thinking.
I never use my blog to berate my husband or to bring up problems or fights that we might have. This is not the place for that.

I love my husband, therefore, the things we disagree about are between the two of us.
He was watching me put up the pictures of our kids, and when I came to the picture of the girl in question (in the tiff we had and I wrote about) I hurriedly scrolled past and like I had hoped, he didn't notice it.
But I did. I'm not in the habit of hiding things from my husband, whatever I write here, he is always welcome to read. If there was something that I felt I should keep hidden, or rather him not see, it shouldn't be up in the first place.
I didn't delete the post. We spoke, I explained it was the way I was feeling at the time and my blog is like my online diary. I feel free to say what I'm going to say because very few (1) people I know read this. Almost all of my readers are strangers in real life.
But, keeping it up and regretting writing something against my husband are two different things.
He accepted my explanation better than I expected or hoped, and it diffused whatever anger he might have felt about it, but it didn't take away my feeling of doing something fueled with emotion that I probably shouldn't have done.
So, in response to my own feelings about putting feelings in the public eye that were obviously against my loving, giving and understanding husband... in front of God and all you people;
Tim, I apologize for the post about that girl. I know you weren't up to anything from the beginning. I was giving you shit for it and then got ass-chapped after you took that shit way too seriously (through the eyes of someone just teasing a bit too hard.) I read the post and agree that someone who loves someone as much as I love you shouldn't put our shit on the front porch, and I'm sorry.

A public apology for a public wrong.
I'm not going to remove the post, but I regret posting it.

But I don't regret making funny cartoons of you in Doll Maker... haha!


At November 3, 2010 at 11:24 PM , Blogger Erin said...

hahaha I like the doll maker! But what a heart felt apology!

At November 4, 2010 at 7:10 AM , Blogger parentingBYdummies said...

Doll maker is a score. Gonna have to check that out.

At November 4, 2010 at 7:37 AM , Blogger MartyrMom said...

Just reading through. A lot of people air their dirty laundry for all to see. I suppose I'm one of them. It's hard to take back what is already said but I think a public apology is WAY good!

At November 4, 2010 at 8:53 AM , Blogger June Freaking Cleaver said...

After I wrote one post about my husband that he found not to his liking, I now let him read stuff (if he's the subject) before I press Publish.

Usually, we can come to some sort of compromise.

I did NOT write about that today, because it might just stir up that pot again, and I don't want to do that.

At November 4, 2010 at 11:36 AM , OpenID theworkinghousewife said...

My husband knows about my blog - but I don't think he really reads it.. But, either way, I try not to 'complain' about him on my blog, but like you, it's my place to vent, like an online diary, so it's hard not to write about him sometime, especially since I'm very careful not to complain about him when i'm with 'real-life' people.. Anyways, I understand what you mean --- in my roundabout way. Stopped in from Mama Kat's.

At November 4, 2010 at 11:41 AM , Anonymous Sarafree said...

Just this week I was thinking of writing some nasty posts about my husband. But then I started thinking maybe, just maybe...alright...I was over reacting. I think if I had I definitely would have regretted them. I can definitely relate to your experience.

At November 4, 2010 at 1:10 PM , Blogger Kim said...

Oh I've been tempted to write about my husband - mostly I don't give into that temptation because I know he reads it and we have enough material to argue about on a daily basis with two very small boys. Sometimes I feel like it's phoney not to write about him though, after all my blog is about our family life, what it's like to be a mother to two very young kids etc. Marriage dynamics should very definitely be a topic but I know I'd be asking for trouble if I did.

At November 4, 2010 at 2:48 PM , Blogger Mrs.Mayhem said...

That's a nice apology. It's tough to find a balance between being honest and offensive with the closest people in our lives. If we only wrote about the good times, these sites wouldn't be an accurate reflection of our lives.

At November 6, 2010 at 9:05 PM , Blogger Alex said...

That is a very nice & sincere apology. My husband gets annoyed with me sometimes if I tweet that we're in a fight or something, but I always want to be truthful & honest when it comes to blogging. But there are certain things that just aren't necessary to say so I kept that to myself. But if it seems interesting and/or funny I post it. He'll just have to get over it. This is bizness :-D LOL


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