A Post I Regret Posting
This is a Writer's prompt from Mama Kat's Writers Workshop. It came at a opportune time for me, as my husband confronted me about a post I had written, Can I Release Them All Into The Wild?
He tried to be subtle, he left the browser open to that page when he turned the computer over to me, signifying he had read it. It got me thinking, but I ignored the obvious "!!??" and waited for him to say something, which later that day after the kids were in bed, he did.
With his hint, I had been thinking of the post all day and was prepared for the conversation when it happened.
At first I was mad. How dare he censor my blog, or have anything to say about it. And then I got to thinking.
I never use my blog to berate my husband or to bring up problems or fights that we might have. This is not the place for that.
I love my husband, therefore, the things we disagree about are between the two of us.
He was watching me put up the pictures of our kids, and when I came to the picture of the girl in question (in the tiff we had and I wrote about) I hurriedly scrolled past and like I had hoped, he didn't notice it.
But I did. I'm not in the habit of hiding things from my husband, whatever I write here, he is always welcome to read. If there was something that I felt I should keep hidden, or rather him not see, it shouldn't be up in the first place.
I didn't delete the post. We spoke, I explained it was the way I was feeling at the time and my blog is like my online diary. I feel free to say what I'm going to say because very few (1) people I know read this. Almost all of my readers are strangers in real life.
But, keeping it up and regretting writing something against my husband are two different things.
He accepted my explanation better than I expected or hoped, and it diffused whatever anger he might have felt about it, but it didn't take away my feeling of doing something fueled with emotion that I probably shouldn't have done.
So, in response to my own feelings about putting feelings in the public eye that were obviously against my loving, giving and understanding husband... in front of God and all you people;
Tim, I apologize for the post about that girl. I know you weren't up to anything from the beginning. I was giving you shit for it and then got ass-chapped after you took that shit way too seriously (through the eyes of someone just teasing a bit too hard.) I read the post and agree that someone who loves someone as much as I love you shouldn't put our shit on the front porch, and I'm sorry.
A public apology for a public wrong.
I'm not going to remove the post, but I regret posting it.
But I don't regret making funny cartoons of you in Doll Maker... haha!