Friday, November 19, 2010

Just a Mommy-Blogger

There was a time, when I thought I was going to change the world.
Actually my whole class of G.A.T.E. (Gifted And Talented Education) students were a particularly promising group. The closest thing that a public school has to being groomed for success.

Many went to college, many more got caught up in working their way up the corporate ladder to get stuck in middle management. Some ruined their lives with drugs and parties, some got pregnant right out of high school. Some settled on jobs that were good jobs but not quite their dreams... actually, I'd have to say "most" for that one.

So, my coddled, gifted, groomed for success class, pretty much turned out like everyone else in the world.
And here I am. "Just" a stay at home mom, documenting my days on a "silly old mommy blog."

Her Bad Mother on a recent post, first rejected the title and then embraced it. One of the comments written in response talked about Mommy-Blogging as not just an inane rambling about potty training and binkies, but as a running commentary on "the art of being a woman."
I loved that.
The art of being a woman.

You know, "old feminism" is going out the door. Women are realizing that real feminism isn't doing the same things that a man does just as well. You know the phrase, "A woman has to work twice as hard as a man to be thought of as half as good."

Women are realizing that we need to recognize our value is in BEING WOMEN. Not as being reasonable facsimiles of men. Ok, yes. We can be construction workers, fishermen and even *gasp* The President of the United States. (almost)

But that is, in my opinion, putting more value on the stereotypical role of men in our society. It's downgrading being a woman, being feminine, and most importantly of all... being a MOTHER.
If you have ever been asked, "Aren't you unsatisfied at being *just* a mom?" or "Didn't you want to do more with your life?" maybe you felt just a little bit offended.
I mean, this is a HARD job. It takes all of your wits, your intelligence, your energy, your creativity... and there is no clocking out at quitting time. Why do you think all intelligent people revere their mothers? Why do you think, when someone famous wins some kind of award... the most special thanks, goes to his or her mom?
I mean, they're only moms, right?

I'm not going to go on and on about how hard our job is. We've heard it all before, and that's not what I'm writing about right here.

The job we are doing is important. This is a significant task, just being a mom. Notice the decline of society (do I need to cite examples? Because I will if pressed, but I'm kinda on a roll here) directly corresponds with the loss of the two parent family and the disappearance of the stay at home mom.
Now. I am not downing working mothers. Get that one thing clear. I admire you, I'm going to be you when I get my schooling done. You are doing marvelous things and don't ever feel guilty for not being a stay at home mom... whether it be by choice or neccesity. Your sacrifices and courage should put you on a pedestal.
But that's not what I'm talking about.

Stay at home moms! I call to you! Your value is there, it is real! The job you do with your children is the most important one there is. Denying that is denying the validity of your femininity. Nature deems that we are the ones that bear and nurture children. Why would we shit on the grave of the world by saying that that isn't enough? That we are not valid? That the job that we endure is not as important as computer programming or nursing or being President of the United States?

Our job is to make new people, and show them how to be people. To nurture and feed and protect and humor and teach and facilitate and discipline and know these children better than we know ourselves. And if one of those children grows up to be the damn president, and another grows to be "just a mom," we should know, KNOW in our heart and our society that one is just as good as the other. One is just as valid and important and needed in this world as another.
To deny that is denying forever and always that being a female ("typical" or not) is not as important and valid as being a male.

And you know what? I'm a female, a mother... mommy if you will, and I blog. I blog (obviously) about social issues, about the lovely-ness of food, the community of social networking, the crappy-ness of the current economy... and YES, I blog about the most important part of my tiny, insignificant life... being a mom!
I'm a mommy blogger, and I'm proud.
Because it's just as valid as being the President.


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