Why I Drink Coffee

I wish this was a righteous post about why I don't drink coffee... I shouldn't drink coffee, I'm a Mormon. I'm a really bad Mormon, but all the same.

Me being a terrible Mormon aside, I drink coffee. Not a lot... I like it sugary and pale, and all those extras make my tummy sick if I drink so much. But I need it... NEED it to make it through my day.
And my reasons are:
1) I am not a morning person, I've never been one. Of course that meant I never got to watch G.I. Joe in the mornings before school, and my brother always got first dibs on the cereal. It takes me a good little while to get my eyes and head unblurry.

2) The reasons I need to unblurry in a hurry (hehe) The kids are off and running, long before I want them to be. And if my eyelids still feel like they are sticking together, I might not be able to catch my pyrex as it comes flying out of my cupboard.
3) Anything that will improve my responses to statements and questions my toddlers make, is a-ok in my book. Am I stimulating their minds when I say, "Uh-huh, that's nice." ? Even if it is in response to Dino Dan discovering a spinosaurus. Yay participation.

4) Children's television has hidden grown-up humor. I'm not talking sex jokes, I'm talking things that you will find funny, that are obviously over your preschooler's head and are therefore placed there for your (the parent's) amusement. You cannot fully appreciate these things if you are sitting there in a semi-coma, thinking, "This really sucks."
5) I can't make bacon and eggs to fatten up the skinniness if I'm falling asleep in the kitchen.
6) It makes me feel like a grownup. Grownups drink coffee, I drink coffee, therefore, I'm not faking the grownup thing.

7) It might, eventually, give me the motivation to clean something... maybe... if I drink enough.
8) My kids remind me if I don't. Seriously. They say, "Mom.Mom.Mom. Coffee." I guess they know how much I need it too.
9) It's sooooo warm and tasty... sooooo tasty... mmmm.
10) Do YOU really want to see me without coffee?