Greased Pigs in Sunday Dress

Written in response to All.Things.Fadra's Stream of Consciousness Sunday. Absolute awesomeness in a 5 minute package.

 

 Going to church with my little heathens is absolute hell. 

Someone once said (I don't know who, and am not going to take the time to find out) "Having children is God's punishment for enjoying sex." Well, God likes to punish in his own house.

I'm not lucky enough to go to one of those "Hallelujah, praise the Lord!" shouting-and-falling-down-in-the-aisles churches. If I did, they would fit right in.

My church is a quiet, solemn affair. A reverent, sit down and sing quiet hymns while smart, religious people give talks on how to be a good church going person.

Of course, the silent reverence is often broken by the shrieks of my 20 month old as my 3 year old tries to wrestle a toy from her grasp.

People have said, "You're so strict with your kids." and I know I'm a "helicopter parent" (I'm visiting Free-Range Parenting to try to fix that. But you don't know my kids. 

If I let them be for 2 seconds, they would be going through your purse and taking off with your wallet.

So, seriously I haven't heard a single thing said in church for the last 3 years. 

Makes me wonder why we even try.